Happ's Houston debut a gem as Astros down punchless Brewers

Baseball Betting Lines

07/30/2010 - Houston, TX (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - J.A. Happ pitched six scoreless innings in his Houston debut, as the Astros handled the Milwaukee Brewers, 5-0, in the opener of a three-game series at Minute Maid Park.

Happ (2-0) and minor leaguers Jonathan Villar and Anthony Gose were acquired by Houston from the Phillies on Thursday in exchange for workhorse starter Roy Oswalt. Happ gave up just two hits, struck out six, and walked four to take the win.

Jason Michaels, Chris Johnson and Jeff Keppinger homered for the Astros, who have won three in a row.

Manny Parra (3-8) went 5 1/3 innings in the start, allowing four runs on four hits for the Brewers, who have dropped three in a row. He also fanned six batters and walked three to drop his third straight decision.

The Brewers failed to score off Happ after putting men on first and second. Rickie Weeks doubled to begin the game and Corey Hart walked. Happ, though, retired the next three batters in order to end the threat.

Michaels' solo blast in the second would prove to be all the runs Houston would need.

After Milwaukee stranded men on first and second in the top of the fourth, the Astros put a three-spot on the board in the home half. With two outs, Michaels walked and Pedro Feliz singled. Johnson then smacked a three-run homer over the wall in right for a 4-0 advantage.

Keppinger's solo homer off the left-field foul pole in the eighth made it a 5-0 game.

Wilton Lopez, Brandon Lyon and Matt Lindstrom combined to pitch a scoreless seventh, eighth and ninth, respectively, for Houston.

Game Notes

The Astros lead the season series with the Brewers, 4-3...Following the trade on Thursday, the Astros then made a second deal, sending Gose to Toronto for minor league first baseman Brett Wallace...Johnson extended his hitting streak to 13 games, the longest by a Houston rookie since Julio Lugo's 14-game run in 2000...Hart went 0-for-3 with a walk in his return to the lineup. He played for the first time in six games after missing time due to a sore right thumb and wrist...Milwaukee started a six-game road trip on Friday...The New York Yankees are reportedly set to acquire Lance Berkman from the Astros. Berkman was not in the starting lineup for Houston on Friday...Oswalt made his Philadelphia debut on Friday against the Nationals. The right-hander allowed five runs -- four earned -- on seven hits and walked two in six innings to absorb his third straight loss.

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FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

NFL Football Trash Talk

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.